"...we are forcing them to quantify their value based on something out of their control: men."

Commenter Fidelio makes note of this article at Forbes entitled "Marriage, The Last Frontier" by columnist Jenna Goudreau. Goudreau naively thinks that marriage is the last frontier of the women's movement but mainly seems pissed that men are not under her and other women's thumb:

After reading Hannah Seligson's book A Little Bit Married--designed to invoke an internal freak-out that goes something like this: Why am I not married? Will I ever be married? Will I be forced to wait so long that my eggs dry up, my boobs reach my belly button and every eligible bachelor deems me unworthy of love?--I decided that marriage is the last frontier of the women's movement....

In part that's because this new generation features the "child-man," Seligson offers, who doesn't feel like adulthood comes until age 35. He lives with a woman for the regular sex and side benefits of emotional nurturing and a free live-in maid. Marriage is not yet on his mind because marriage represents financial stability, an end to partying and generally becoming old (apparently love and commitment are not deemed worthy criteria).

On this point I think she's right. A young urbanite myself, I know many of these man-children, who I find both amusing and frightening, and begrudgingly call friends. I do not, however, date them with the anticipation of marriage. Are we women so silly and trusting as Seligson suggests?

Staff reporter Goudreau is trying to make it sound like she thinks marriage is not anything that the modern woman should strive for but her wording here is more telling of what she really thinks:

If we continue writing guides on how to get your guy to propose or in-depth analysis on why he hasn't, we're not teaching our young women to focus on the quality (and equality) of their relationships. Rather we are forcing them to quantify their value based on something out of their control: men.

Ahh, so the real problem for this columnist is that men are supposed to come under women's control in order for women to feel satisfied and stop them from calling men names like "man-children." Boy, that's really going to get the men running to get married! When women learn that a relationship is about love, compassion and equality, rather than control, maybe men will start to want to marry them again. Goodreau has it all wrong. It is not that men are "man-children." They are just grown-up enough to know that a controlling woman like Goodreau does not a good wife make.

Update: Stuart Schneiderman has more.