"...it's a mistake to judge men's interactions by assuming we need to be like women."

Stuart Schneiderman sent me his interesting post entitled, "Men and women: Imperfect together" that discusses a WSJ article on the topic of guy friendships by Jeff Zaslow. Zaslow is the author of The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship. a book about female friendships and in the WSJ article, he describes how male friendships are different:

...though I envy women's easy intimacy, I also know it wouldn't work for me and my friends.

I've played poker with the same guys every Thursday night for 18 years. We rarely talk about our lives. We talk about cards, betting, bluffing....

In his research, Dr. Greif found that men generally resist high-maintenance relationships, whether with spouses, girlfriends or male pals. When picking friends, "men don't want someone who is too needy," he says. A third of the men in his study said they learned positive things from female friendships, but 25% had a negative impression of women as friends, citing issues such as "cattiness" and "too much drama." And women are more likely than men to hold grudges toward friends, according to Dr. Greif's 2009 book, "Buddy System"...

But again, it's a mistake to judge men's interactions by assuming we need to be like women. Research shows that men often open up about emotional issues to wives, mothers, sisters and platonic female friends. That's partly because they assume male friends will be of little help. It may also be due to fears of seeming effeminate or gay. But it's also an indication that men compartmentalize their needs; they'd rather turn to male friends to momentarily escape from their problems.

I think both ways of having friends can be positive (or negative), having someone to listen to when you are having difficulties can be important, but having a friend who would help one escape problems sounds great too.

What kinds of friendships do you value?