For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.....
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again....
I was most interested in the first two regrets:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed....
Maybe the first two go together. Perhaps the men worked hard because the women and children in their life expected it and looking back, they regretted it. I wonder if the current generation of men don't work as hard and let women pick up the load if they will be happier at the end of their lives or just regret something else? Perhaps all we really regret at the end is what we didn't do, not what we did. Perhaps that is human nature.
Is there anything you would regret?
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